Awake in My Own Life Again

Not because everything is perfect.
Not because everything suddenly got easy.
But because I feel awake in my own life again.

The first half of 2026 has honestly been one of the best seasons of my life.

And I don’t say that because everything has been flawless. I say it because I finally feel like I’m actually here for my own life again.

I’m paying attention.
I’m showing up.
I’m not just waking up to the same day, same shit, same patterns, same survival mode.

I feel nothing but gratitude in this moment.

The Lights Started Coming Back On

This year has been full of growth for me.

Personal growth.
Health growth.
Eating better.
Working out.
Losing weight.
Working on myself from the inside out.

But it’s also been about turning back toward parts of me I really thought I had dismissed, forgotten, or lost a long time ago.

And one of those parts is music.

Music has come back into my life in such a sweet way.

I’m singing harmonies again. I’m trying to remember that somewhere in this brain of mine are instruments I used to know how to play.

Lessons are probably on the horizon because apparently my heart is not done learning.

I have a blog going. I’m working on a podcast. I started a book club with some truly amazing women who are honest, hilarious, open, real, and actually interested in growing, healing, self-love, and becoming better.

And honestly?

That has been one of the biggest blessings.

Peace Feels Different When You Finally Recognize It

I feel so supported right now.

My relationships with others feel better.
My marriage feels stronger.
Even the dogs are doing better.

Life just feels lighter in a way I didn’t even know how to pray for a year ago. And even if I had prayed for it, I probably would have sold this life short.

One of the biggest things I’ve worked on is learning what belongs to me and what doesn’t.

Being responsible for my side of the street.
Not picking up someone else’s drama and letting it ruin my whole day.
Not absorbing every mood, every opinion, every judgment, every little storm that was never mine to carry in the first place.

That has been a big one.

There is such a difference between living like everything is happening to you and realizing you still have choices.

You still have power.
You still get to decide how you show up.

And let’s be honest…

I am a force of nature.

Of course some people may not like my decisions. But who’s to say I like yours? Who’s to say you’re automatically right just because you decided I’m wrong?

That part is freeing.

The Right People Feel Like Peace

I’m also learning that the right people feel like peace.

They don’t make you feel small for growing.
They don’t only feel comfortable around you when you’re struggling.
They celebrate you.

They tell you when they’re proud of you. They make room for the version of you that is becoming healthier, happier, louder, softer, stronger, and more yourself.

And I’m trying to pay attention to how I show up for other people too.

Am I cheering people on?
Am I clapping when good things happen for them?
Am I being honest with myself when something in me feels jealous, uncomfortable, insecure, or weird?

Because I’ve been there too.

But now I see that for what it was.

That was my stuff.
That was something in me that still wanted to be seen.

Stuck Is a Hard Place to Live

I’m not sharing any of this to brag.

I’m sharing it because I know what it feels like to be stuck.

I know what it feels like to keep doing the same broken-ass things over and over again and wonder why nothing is changing.

Whether that is with relationships, food, drinking, work, friendships, habits, health, or the way you talk to yourself.

Stuck is a hard place to live.

And I really don’t want to forget that.

So if you’re going through anything like this, just know there is hope.

I don’t think I could have been much deeper in the bottom I was in mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and honestly, I don’t want to find out if there was a deeper one.

I want to keep growing and moving forward because boy, the other way was nasty.

You Can Come Back to Yourself

If you feel stuck, small, tired, lost, or like you don’t even recognize yourself anymore, I just want to say this:

You can come back to yourself.

Things can get lighter.

You can start making different choices. You can put work into your life, your health, your heart, your peace, and your people.

And little by little, things really can start opening up in ways you didn’t even know were possible.

That is what the first half of 2026 has felt like for me.

Looking Toward the Second Half

Now I’m looking forward to the second half.

More music.
More writing.
More learning.
More healing.
More laughing.
More honest conversations.
More doing things that scare me a little but make me feel alive.

And yes, because if you know me, you know Halloween is basically one of my love languages…

SHAWloween is already in motion for October 30th.

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, that whole part of the year is my jam.

But Halloween?

Halloween makes me feel like a big kid, and I will absolutely be making that everyone’s problem.

Here’s to the First Half of 2026

So here’s to the first half of 2026.

To growth.
To gratitude.
To the right people.
To coming back to yourself.
To not staying stuck.
To doing the work and getting to see what happens when you finally decide you are worth the effort.

I am living out loud and having the best year of my life.

These are some of my favorite memories so far this year, in no particular order, just how they came out of my camera roll.

And my heart is really, really full.

Also, I realize there’s no way I could have captured all the awesome that happened. There are definitely pictures missing because I was too busy actually living in the moment.

But these were some of them.

The Pictures I Almost Didn’t Post

And I think part of why I didn’t post some of these at the time is because I still catch myself confusing how I look with how I feel.

Let that one sink in.

Then I get in my head and wonder if posting pictures of myself looks like I’m trying to get approval from other people.

But really, on this side of them, they are just moments I’m proud of.

Moments I’m building on.
Moments that remind me I’m here.

And I’m so damn grateful.